Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Monotony Scribbled

I get to my active senses with the morning alarm on phone, sharp at 6:30 a.m....hands fidget to get hold of that mean gadget and swipe it to snooze off only to be buzzed again at 7:00 a.m....the alarm does solves its purpose this time; I get up and sit for a while on bed - closed eyes - blank state...Ears pick up Ramdev baba's wise words on yoga asans from the television in the other room...If not paying attention to her favorite show, mom is seen moving around purposely doing morning chores...I take in all, get up and make an effort to get ready to start yet another 7:45 a.m. I am all set for office...7:50 a.m. phone rings for a missed call; indication that the cab is well outside my place...I gather my stuff, check for anything missing and rush out of the home...after an hour long drive, some good-bad music, plain silences/chit-chat, 8:55 a.m. I am dropped at office...its always a snail pace to enter office...unenthusiastic, uninterested, mechanical...I punch in my I-card at the attendance machine - 9:00 a.m. - Sanchi Kala - Accepted...there starts a grilling load, deadlines, meetings, differences, cribbing, ranting, assessing, processing, sweet talk, hate talk, gossips, opinions......6:25 p.m. phone rings for a missed call again; indication that the cab is waiting outside my office...I gather my stuff, check for anything missing and rush out of the office...I punch in my I-card again at the attendance machine - 6:30 p.m. - Sanchi Kala - Accepted....after an hour long drive, some good-bad music, plain silences / no chit-chat this time, 7:50 p.m. I am dropped at home...I am welcomed by my elder sister at this hour warmly/coldly - depends on her mood; it is very unpredictable...Mom can be heard chanting an aarti in the kitchen, I pop in to get a glimpse of hers, everytime, to catch this is comforting to see her ensured presence after a grueling the time I freshen up, she's ready with tea, refreshments and her 12-hour day updates...she talks and I hear but not listen...I scroll through the channels, Rahul Kanwal / Arnab Goswami / Some reality show - the general halt points...10:00 p.m. am eating and watching television, surfing FB, scrolling through phone, mindlessly...11:00 p.m. am still watching television, surfing FB, scrolling through phone, mindlessly...11:30 p.m. eyes start drooping...I get up to check my wooden wardrobe, look at the pile of clothes, pick up a set that is closest to hand, iron it for next day and go back to bed...12:00 a.m.

A day lived; A day wasted.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

French Window

The mirror reflected an unpleasant sight...she herself couldn't take it in for long...those burn marks and scars could make anyone look away from her face. It was not his fault. She felt guilty for blaming it on him...nobody could in all physicality 'love' that sight; her appearance.

She sat on the French window sill...looking at the landscaped open spaces ahead. Memories started rewinding...what a day it was when they bought their dream home and moved in...after all that incessant planning, exploring, saving every penny, they were finally able to book this house and then own it...this French window, how can she forget the argument that they had, to get it done...she had to keep ranting about her wish and reason it with him to use that space for window and not for his customized bookshelf. He was annoyed yet gave in with a smile...ever since, so much they had shared on this window sill..talked away those breezy summer nights, cuddled up in winters...those coffee and music sessions while enjoying can she forget...but she does remember it all...and he ought to remember it too....if only he remembers it...

Curtains moved..she turned around to see who it was..he walked in with a glass of water in his hand...she tried to welcome him with her half, painful smile but he didn't seem to notice...may be she didn't really seem like smiling...or else he would have acknowledged it..he always did...prior to that accident. 

He gave her the glass of water..she moved a bit to make space for him to sit as well..he didn't seem to notice that too..he kept standing, handed her the pills and waited till she had them all...she looked at him, he looked at her hands holding those tablets..was it really so difficult to even glance at the person whom he so passionately loved only until a few months back? She without a word, took her tablets...he took the glass from her hands and went....She kept staring his back from that French window...

...he was gone and she was left there sitting at the window sill alone, with just some extra space...

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Dialogue - I

Head: soo long, how have u been?

Heart: .. :) ..good, missed me or what?

Head: Naah...was just wondering if you still exist in this bodily know what I mean ;)

Heart: Oh come'on..! I am still hale & hearty ..very hearty.. ;) cant’ you listen to this – lub-dub-lub-dub-lub-dub.. ;)

Head: Yes of course! You so do sound hearty mate.. :) how had life been all this while..? you were virtually non-existent!

Heart: Life was just as usual..I am ok being a solitary fellow dude…don’t really crave to socialize like you…so was good…happy & content in its own way.. :)

Head: Such a loser that you’ve always been! Get a life dude, get a life!

Heart: Sure…the only thing that you’ve got to tell ALWAYS! ...don’t you feel shallow partying, boozing, indulging with strangers...running allll the while like that...? it must be taxing!

Head: Shallow? Are you kidding me? I am ‘living’ every second of this life…savoring it…not like you loser…wasting it away with that crappy-solitary-philosophy!

Heart: Living and savoring it for others…to fit into the crowd of that oh-so-happening-people…how many moments have you actually lived for yourself..really?

Head: Wow! See am not in for that retrospection track now! forget about me explain what have you gained being a lonesome? How have you like really, ‘lived’ for yourself…any soulful insights there?

Heart: At least I am at peace! And anyway I am comfortable in my own space so just let it be…you wont understand…

Head: Of course I don’t understand this loser like attitude of yours..! Staying comfortable in your own space is one thing dude while shutting yourself up in an air tight box is other! You know what I mean? GET A LIFE!

Heart: I’l get a life, you go get some meaning into yours! Wonder why we are at loggerheads every time..stop wasting time with sure you must be having better things at hand to indulge in…

Head: Yeah right...F**k Off loser!
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